Cats Are Funny Creatures

CHARACTERS:

MING MING: Ming Ming is the number 1 cat around here. She stumbled in here with a brown leather collar and lived on the roof at first, but couldn't resist the milk and food we offered her, so now she's here to stay. Ming Ming is almost human, she loves bad boys and only gives birth to one kitten at a time.

BAD BAD KITTY: Bad Bad Kitty is Ming Ming's longtime lover and father of her 3 kids. He doesn't live here, he's dirty and he only comes over when he fancies a fuck. Which is pretty much every night (No wonder I have insomnia).

EVIL KITTY: My favorite kitty! Everyone calls him Ming Ming, which is unfair, because Evil Kitty is male. And he is not a cat. Evil Kitty is the loftiest human being in this household. He is always pristine and his white spots are, well, spotless. He can also get moody at times. Rarely bitchy, but he has his moments.

R.I.P. : The 2nd child of Ming Ming who was born on the roof (I deduced) and mysteriously disappeared.

"JACK SPARROW": The newest member of the family! I think it's a girl. Temporarily named after the famous pirate because his left eye is festered shut. (Mental note: Bring this kitten to Vet, at the risk of being mauled by Ming Ming)

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So I get home at 3 A.M. and I'm locked out of the house. Not a SINGLE window was open. That's rare. While scrambling around the perimeter, I encounter all 3 of our house cats.


Ming and "Jack Sparrow" were on the perimeter wall, maybe 7 feet high. They were just there, chillin' like villains. I notice that "Jack"'s eye wound could possibly be seriously infected. His eye was swollen shut. It looked pretty nasty. After a while Ming jumps to the ground, leaving the kitten stranded on the wall. The baby cries out but Ming just purred this "sentence" out. To me, it seemed like Ming was teaching "Jack" how to jump from walls, even encouraging her. I mean, it IS necessary for survival. In spite of trying, "Jack" whines and whines and Ming jumps back up on the wall. They cozy up. Brat. Lick your own fur.

No open windows in that part of the house.

I go around out back. And there was Evil Kitty curled up on a padded barstool. Hadn't seen him in a while, he hangs out back by himself. Actually, he likes to hang around people. Evil Kitty thinks he is human. Since the birth of the pirate kitten, Ming and Evil Kitty stopped hanging out.

Curiouser and Curiouser...

Curious day today...

Earlier today I saw a man dressed like a policeman crossing the street. He wasn't in costume or anything, but his pants were the exact navy and his shirt was the exact grey-blue shade. He had no boots though. Baduy. Oh well, it IS too warm out for boots anyway.

I've become very popular on Friendster ( Take with a grain of salt, this is quite a hyperbole). This strange occurrence has been taking place since last week. At least 5 random people want to be my friend everytime I log in. It's weird. Friendster's not even cool anymore. I guess I've achieved official loser-dom!

Do you want fries with that?

I'm not the kind of person who wakes up to recount what happened in my dreams. I can count the number of times where I can coherently relay what happened the day after. Once I wake up, *poof* I forget EVERYTHING.

The only dreams I remeber are:

* Eluding and outsmarting robbers by running around Caloocan barefoot with an umbrella and a 3-wood. We ran around our family's old Shell gas station and the surrounding areas. I was about 7.

* Sitting down in the Hong Kong Airport and chatting randomly with this guy who I went to college with (and incidentally, whom I totally abhorred). Apparently, we were waiting for our other friends to finish some duty free shopping. This is absolutely bizaare because we were never friends to begin with. I will not admit who this guy is, because I'm pretty sure he'll take it in the wrongest way possible.

* Eluding my own wedding by running around barefoot in Caloocan, clutching my dress' train and a Bible in my arms. Funny thing was, I never had shoes, they just weren't part of my bridal outfit. So maybe that was some weird "dream omen" thing. I dreamt about this maybe 2 years ago.

*My teeth exploding (imploding?) in my mouth while I sat in the backseat of Maria's old white Corolla, smoking a cigarette... That had TNT or something in it. Supposedly, losing your teeth in a dream is a sure omen of death. Honestly? I woke up sweating and freaking out, checking if my teeth were still there. Teeth before someone's death. How. Fuckin'. Vain. I know.

*Renegade American Special Ops agents gunning down our front gate with Uzis and Bazookas. Of course, I saved the day. I think... I barely remember how this one ended. (See what I mean?)

Last night, I was walking in my old school, down this covered pathway (that they demolished when I was in high school), lovingly chomping on a 2 inch thick round steak that was so juicy and tender and evenly cooked (in spite of the fact that it was at least 2 inches thick!). I was holding it like you would an ice cream sandwich, with a tissue and everything. Halfway through, the steak fell. So what did Shawn do? She looks around (making sure no one was looking), picks the damned slab of meat from the ground, dusts it off on her uniform skirt and takes a huge bite.

This is around the time my mom comes in and wakes me up asking "What do you want for lunch?"

I wanted that steak, Mom. And I wanted fries with that.

P.S. I haven't eaten meat in months. I refuse to count the days.

P.P.S. Sometimes I wonder whether or not being vegetarian is really gonna keep me alive for longer. I mean, the way I crave for junk now is practically inhuman. Superhuman. Extraterrestrial.